When Holidays Feel Like a Minefield: Our ARFID Journey and Why I'm Talking About It Today

By Louise Slope, BANT-Registered Nutritional Therapist & Mum | Nourished Nest

Today is ARFID Awareness Day. And I want to use it to do something I don't do often enough: share our story.

Not the polished, professional version. The real one.

What is ARFID?

ARFID stands for Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder. It's a recognised eating disorder, not a phase, not fussiness, and absolutely not something a child will simply grow out of if you push hard enough.

It's characterised by a persistent avoidance or restriction of food, not related to body image, but rooted in one or more of the following:

• Sensory sensitivity — the texture, smell, appearance, temperature, or taste of food feels genuinely distressing

• Fear of consequences — a previous experience of choking, vomiting, or pain that has created anxiety around eating

• Lack of interest in food — a genuinely low drive to eat, often linked to difficulty reading internal hunger signals

A child with ARFID has what are called accepted foods, the foods they feel safe with. Everything else can feel, quite literally, terrifying. One analogy I came across in my training that has stayed with me: imagine sitting down to a plate full of spiders and being expected to eat it. That is how every unfamiliar meal can feel for a child with ARFID.

ARFID is not a parenting failure. It is not a discipline problem. And the child cannot simply choose to eat something different if they are hungry enough.

They cannot — and they will not.

My Son

My son is undiagnosed ARFID. And I say that as both a nutritional therapist and as his mum.

He has a limited number of accepted foods. Over the last ten years, we have gradually, very gradually increased that number. We've also lost some foods along the way, and I've made peace with the fact that progress is never linear. What he eats is closely linked to everything else going on in his life: his stress levels, his routine, his sense of safety.

Holidays are a perfect example of how quickly things can shift.

Why Holidays Are So Hard

When you have a child with ARFID or sensory food challenges, the arrival of summer doesn't bring the same relief it does for other families. It can actually bring a quiet sense of dread.

The school routine ends. Structure disappears. New environments appear. And with them, unfamiliar menus, different kitchens, restaurants with no "safe" options, and the pressure, however well-meaning of eating socially.

Here's what's actually happening in your child's nervous system during this time:

Anxiety rises when routine breaks down. And when anxiety rises, sensory sensitivity intensifies. The texture of a food that was borderline acceptable at home can become completely intolerable abroad. The taste of a brand they trusted can taste different in another country — because it often is different.

For children with ARFID, this is particularly acute. An accepted food is accepted not just because of taste, but because of everything associated with it: the brand, the packaging, the colour, the way it feels in the mouth, the smell when it's cooking. Change any one of those variables and the food is no longer "safe."

We holiday in France every year as a family. When my son was younger, he would eat baguette, one specific cheese (which we bring over every single year), and a handful of snacks from home. Over time, slowly, we've built up more. He discovered moules marinières. He found a French chipolata he trusted. He built a relationship with a French burger at one particular restaurant.

Then the restaurant changed how they served it. A different format, a slightly different presentation. And that food was gone. The trust was broken.

This is ARFID.

There Is Progress, But It Doesn't Look Like What You Expect

This May, we were lucky enough to have a quick trip to France. And on that trip, my son tried saucisson for the first time.

That might sound like a small thing. To us, it was enormous.

Ten years of gentle, patient, low-pressure exploration. Ten years of never forcing, never bribing, never making food a battleground. Ten years of building trust between him and us, and between him and food.

He is a child who loves France. Who loves the market, the boulangerie, the French supermarket. Not because we made him but because we made it safe. We explored together. We let him choose. We made it about the experience and not about the plate in front of him.

And one day, at a French market on a sunny afternoon, he picked up a slice of saucisson.

That's what slow, safe, supported progress looks like.

The Comments Don't Help

One of the hardest things about living with ARFID — as a parent, and as a child — is the commentary from people who don't understand it.

"He'll eat when he's hungry enough." "Just don't give him an alternative." "You've made a rod for your own back." "My child eats everything, I just didn't give them a choice."

I know these comments come from people who care. But they land like a judgment. And for parents who are already exhausted, already worried, already doing everything they can — they add a layer of guilt that nobody needs.

That's one of the reasons I'm so committed to talking about this openly. Because the more we share our experiences, the more we normalise the reality of ARFID — and the less isolated these families feel.

You are not failing your child. You are not to blame. And you are not alone.

The Social Cost Nobody Talks About

ARFID doesn't just affect mealtimes. It affects everything.

School lunches. Birthday parties. Playdates. Residential trips. Family gatherings where a well-meaning relative piles a plate high and says "just try a little bit."

Children with ARFID often know they are different. They can feel the eyes on them at the table. They can sense the tension. And that awareness of being different, of causing stress adds another layer to an already anxious relationship with food.

The social consequences are real and significant. Some children cannot eat outside the home. Some cannot attend events where food is involved. Some grow into teenagers and adults who still carry the weight of a childhood spent dreading mealtimes.

This is why early support matters. Not to force change, but to gently, safely, expand what's possible.

The teenage clients I have been supporting this week tell me “they really want to eat like their friends and family, but they cant” This is there goal we are working towards, pressure fee, on there own terms.

What Trained Support Actually Looks Like

As a BANT-registered nutritional therapist with specialist training in ARFID and eating disorders, the work I do with families is never about pressure.

It's about understanding the individual child, what drives their food avoidance, what their sensory profile looks like, where their anxiety is centred. It's about working with the family to create a home environment where mealtimes feel less threatening, and where trust can slowly rebuild.

It's about meeting the child exactly where they are. And taking one step at a time.

I'm currently undertaking further training in eating disorders, including ARFID, with Emma Hendricks and the depth of understanding this brings to my practice is something I'm really proud of.

My Workshop: Picky Eating on Holiday

This is why I've created a series of practical workshops for parents — starting with one that feels especially timely right now.

Picky Eating on Holiday: Survive (and Even Enjoy) Mealtimes Away From Home

In this small-group online workshop, I'll be sharing the framework I use with families — and the approach we've used with our own son — to make being away from home more manageable. Not perfect. More manageable.

You'll come away with a better understanding of why holidays are so hard for children with food challenges, and with practical, family-specific strategies to help you feel more prepared.

Because every child is different. And what works for one won't work for another. That's why the groups are small — so you can ask questions, share your situation, and find the approach that fits your family.

📅 Wednesday 8 July 2026 · 7:30–8:30pm BST · Online

👉 Grab your ticket here — buytickets.at/nourishednest

And if a workshop isn't the right next step for you right now — my free 20-minute discovery call is always a no-pressure starting point.

👉 Book your free call — www.nourishednest.co.uk/book-a-free-discovery-call

To Every Parent Reading This

If any of this has resonated, if you've nodded along, or felt the familiar tightness in your chest as you read it, I want you to know something.

You are doing better than you think. Your child is lucky to have someone who cares this much. And there is support out there, from practitioners who truly understand what you're living with, not just clinically, but from the inside.

One step at a time. Together. 💚

Louise Slope is a BANT-registered and CNHC-accredited nutritional therapist specialising in child and maternal nutrition, based in Great Missenden, Buckinghamshire. She supports families across the UK online and locally, with a specialist focus on picky eating, ARFID, sensory feeding challenges, and neurodivergent nutrition.

Featured in The Guardian's expert guide to living well with neurodiversity. Contributing nutritional expert in Mum, Interrupted by Sarah Marsh.

www.nourishednest.co.uk | @nourished__nest